Finding myself..

It's been awhile. Things have been good around here, very busy. I've been using all of my new-found energy to keep moving, in the house or out. The kids are doing well, excelling in school, growing like weeds. The mid-grading period progress reports came home last week and they're doing well for the most part, with two of them needing to work on some areas. Work is the same, except I'm not nearly as exhausted which helps me to get through my day in a much better mood. Patrick is working his rear off, coming home from work and doing the bathroom remodel nearly every night. I sure love that man. :)

I just returned from a trip. I purchased a plane ticket a month or so ago, nervously excited. Excited because I was getting on a plane which I haven't done since I was 15, and I was going to see Becky again as well as meeting Leah. Nervous because I haven't been away from my family for that long, ever. Also, I can't remember a time since Missy was born almost 12 years ago, that I did anything by myself for a long period of time. Sure, I've been to a conference in Ft. Wayne with my church ladies, but I was with familiar people and only for one over-night. Beyond that, I've always had the kids Patrick with me over the last 7 years. The fear of, "who am I without my kids & husband?" really set in. Being on my own 100% made me nervous.. I didn't have my identity with me. People were going to see ME, not a mom or wife, just me.

I learned a lot this past weekend. I DO have an identity of my own, and it pairs quite nicely with my family-based identity. I learned that I can (and do) enjoy shopping. I learned that I can form great friendships not based through my kids. I can laugh, feel, enjoy things around me, and be my own person without feeling guilty about doing something for myself. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I also learned that I really, really enjoy hiking.
Becky had asked me what I wanted to do while in Utah, and the only thing I told her was that I wanted to see the red rocks.

After arriving Friday morning around 12:30am, Bec & I took off around 8:30 towards St. George Utah. We meet up with Leah, Holly, and Robbin and had lunch, then headed to Zion National Park. We choose a 5 mile hike from the information at the welcome center that took us to see the Double Arch Alcove in the Kolob Canyon area. We had so much fun that the 4 hour hike, aka 4 hrs of cardio, didn't seem at all like a workout. The views were spectacular. I was in shear awe at every turn. I also did something else I rarely do, which is getting IN the pictures, and I had fun doing it.

I have so many pictures, but I won't overload this blog with too many.. just a handful of my favorites.

 It was wonderful to get to meet Holly & Robbin
(Robbin above, far left. Holly to the right, far left)

and the last two.. *gulp* showing how happy I was, not caring about my size or the camera.. just having fun.

Now, for a little mushiness...

I came home to a clean house, happy kids, and a worn out hubby. He greeted me at the airport with a beautiful red rose, a big hug & kiss, then listened to me talk the whole way home.  He not only spent the weekend with the kids, but he made progress on the bathroom AND painted our bedroom for me.

Thank you for everything Patrick. I love you so much and am so blessed to have you for my husband. I cannot wait to take you along on a wonderful adventure like this.

And for Bec, I want to say thank you for an awesome weekend. Your family is beautiful, you are such a great woman & friend. You're amazing for all you do for your family, for your parents, and for everyone else that is blessed enough to be touched by your wonderful friendship and caring personality.

Give Ryan a big hug from me & tell him thank you also.

Leah, oh Leah. Your spirit is even more wonderful in person than online. I knew you were crazy, and meeting you in person just confirmed it. It also confirmed how much of an inspiration you are. You're a beautiful, strong, determined woman. I know that you're going to make it through the tough times right now and come out with your fighting spirit. Your kids are blessed to have you for their mommy.